Sep 28, 2024 – Day 123- Praying when Angry

Last night Ale, my eldest, was thinking about praying to God when angry. He vocalized how he thought that praying to God when angry was a terrible sin. I listened to his theory, and we talked about it.

Ale: You can’t pray to God when you're angry because he is good and powerful. I love Him. He might get angry at me and that would not be good. He does not want me yelling at Him or saying mean things to Him. He could send a plague or something.

I really thought about it. Where was he getting this? Who was teaching him these ridiculous theories? I sat there awestruck as I came to understand that it was me!

Mom: Your relationship with God is not that fragile, Ale. He loves you despite anything and everything you do. You can trust Him fully to be present and working in your life no matter how angry you are.

I came to understand that Ale’s closest version of His love on Earth was me. ME. He unknowingly confessed to believing our relationship to be fragile. He is scared that my love for him could be limited. He thinks that I could punish him unless he silences his priceless voice.

There is nothing further from the truth. I would never stop loving my son. No matter what. I have run the scenarios in my head. There is not one where my love for him even stumbles. Not only is his perception of me wrong (obviously my fault), but this misconception is also altering his understanding of God.

I sat quietly. This is true today and every day. We are such an important influence on others. Our responsibility to unwavering love and support is heavy. Most importantly, the brutal honesty about our flaws needs to be shared to protect the precious image of a perfect God.

I’m sorry Ale. That was me not God.