Discipline is a struggle. A back-and-forth battle between your energy and motivation and your desire to improve. Everyone builds themselves up. A starting date, defining a last time, making a promise. We press that button and then we try. Some of us try harder than others. Some of us hardly try at all. Others give it everything they have, leaving no room for failure.
But a time comes where we fail. We stare the discipline in the face and answer the question, should I catch up or start over?
Today I start over. Rule of Life Day 1. Its hard. What happened? What brought me here? I was praying about this on Sunday during church and I felt God console me with the soft and caring words, start over. My heart filled with warmth. I felt the guilt and pressure of my failure flow out of me. I will start over.
Sunday, I understood Jesus a little better. Jesus died to give us the opportunity to start over. We live our lives knowing that the weight and guilt of our sin is a burden we share with someone else. He gave us this button to press when ever we need to, start over.
2 Timothy 1:7. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Every morning. What an amazing God we have. He understands our struggle. He knows what we are going through. He has already forgiven.
I have always felt a sense of gratitude and awe when I watch the sun rise. Now it makes sense. As the new day is born so is my life. I will focus on today and be my best self now. Keeping failure, success, and expectations from tainting my efforts.
Today I start over. I am ready to try again. I want to make it. I want to overcome. But I can rest in the understanding that no matter what happens someone is waiting to catch me if I can’t.
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