I need to work on my look. I spend a lot more time in public than my heart ever desired or designed. If it were my choice, I would spend the whole day hidden behind the computer screen. I have never hated the way I look but I have never really been confident either. A lot of bad choices and wrong turns can do that to a person.
God has asked me to become more public. Speak more often. Show up even when I don’t want to. I might seem like an extrovert to a reader on the other side of the world, but here, in my house, I am an introvert.
I want to get up and get ready. Take the time necessary to feel like when I step out of my front door, I can represent God the way he deserves to be represented. I do not want to attract attention. I do not want compliments. This whole concept is foreign to me. I have never been one to invest in myself. I’m usually pouring into others. God have given me this side quest. My journey is on pause until the mission is completed.
This idea can be overwhelming, having to change for God. I would change for no one else, but even changing who you are for Him is a challenge. Last night I felt tired of trying. As I stood in my kitchen in a dress and sandals, in obedience, I thought this can not be what God is asking me for.
This is my house. My safe place. Here my frizzy hair and oversized t-shirts are allowed. Do you care? You shouldn’t. Here I get to be me and relax in the comfort of home.
After thinking about this concept, I made a commitment. In my home, I will let my guard down. If I am kind enough to let you into my home, please give me grace. I am trying. I promise if we go out I will put a dress on.
